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If he found out. And it's not like I haven't dealt with it before.

It'd feel a bit like home, wouldn't it? And I was just starting to miss those freakishly white walls.

Are you trying to sound tough?

Are you saying I need to try?

[ he bites back the quiet 'i know i needed to', thinking about what he was like a year or so ago. ]

I'm saying it sounds like you're trying too hard.

[ he bristles at that and he's glad riku can't see him. ]

[ but he pulls the impulse to snap at him back, bites his tongue for a moment before the rest comes out in a rush: ]

He shouldn't be saying those things and he shouldn't have called you that. No one should because you're better and you're good and for some reason, you don't acknowledge it. You've done all these things to prove you're better and stronger than you were before, but it's like it's never enough for you. It's like you're constantly in this cycle of "I'm not good enough" and it's... stupid.

[ he's stupid. everything's stupid. ]

I don't care what happens to me, okay? I don't. I was dead back home and I have nothing to return to, so just let me do the dumb, ugly stuff. [ like threatening crazy scientists. ] You have a future to go back to. You have people waiting for you. People who care about you.

Edited 2013-10-26 23:08 (UTC)

[ ... he... doesn't quite know what to say, too stunned to speak for a minute. all he can kind of stammer out is a quiet-- ]

I--

[ but then, he sighs lowly. ]

I have a place to go back to. This is what you have. I'm going to protect it--and you--no matter what. What happens to me here, it doesn't really matter. When I go back, I'll go back, and I'll be fine. If some crazy scientist is planning on doing anything, I'm not gonna let it happen.

It's because you're dead back home that I'm doing this.

[ he's. not gonna touch that whole 'not good enough' thing. ]

[ he doesn't even want to be here, this shitty place in shitty outer space and he definitely doesn't want riku to protect him. but he doesn't say that because riku is Good and likes helping people and the whole thing is moot anyway. so he's not gonna touch that part either. ]

Yes, it does matter. What's gonna happen to all your friends if something happens to you? You think they want to see you getting hurt for their sake all the time?

They brought me back from the dead a first time, once they've got it working again, I'll be fine.

[ wait hold on a second ]

You died?

[ damn it can't you focus on the they revived me part ]

Y... yeah.

[ quickly; ]

It was nothing. Definitely not as bad as yours. [ distract distract distract ]

... Right.

[ calling bullshit. ]

Mine wasn't that bad. What happened?

Wouldn't I know? I did it. [ you can almost hear the narrow of his eyes. ]

[ off camera shrug. ]

Maybe. But it's good that it was you instead of someone else like Larxene.

[ it's out before he can take it back and his breath hitches just slightly, as if realizing his mistake. but he doesn't try to take it back because this is a fundamental truth: what better way to die than to be destroyed by your original? replicas were doomed from existence and the closest bonds he's had were with riku and namine.

he wouldn't have wanted it any other way. ]

[ oh. ... ]

... I guess.

[ a pause; ]

I pushed Axel out of the way when a building was collapsing.

[ there's a rough sound, short and indignant. he's still unsure how to to feel about him, but the fact that he was indirectly the cause of riku's death doesn't really help his opinion of him. ]

How did you come back?

I don't know. All I remember is dying and then coming back to life in the hospital.

Does everyone who dies here end up in the hospital?

Edited 2013-10-30 00:12 (UTC)

I think so.

But with the system offline, now... I think we'd stay dead.

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